Love Is Not What You Think It Is

Because there is something different about us
about you
about me when I am with you

That is why you don't need to be afraid
But do be patient

You know some things in your bones
in your soul
in your eyes
but not in your mind
Not in your waking life
Love is not what you think it is.
It is not what you want it to be because you are afraid

But it is what you find it to be in your dreams

And this is the greatest flaw of the english language
that you share the same word as everyone else
that the way that I care for you is called by the same name
as the way that I care for everything else in the world

And that breaks my heart into no fewer than a million pieces
that every day you have to contend with the idea that perhaps you are not special
that perhaps you are not different

and the horrible paradox is that you aren't 
there is nothing about you that makes you special
except that you are you
and to me you stand alone in the world in that

this is the strange thing
that my love for you is not bound to any property of yours
but that it builds and explodes everything about you
so that any inch of you and every ounce of you drives me to madness
that I am spellbound by the slightest of your movements
and that i am completely destroyed and rebuilt anew every time i make love to you

but here is where the terror begins for you
that perhaps another woman would bring me the same thing
and this fear comes from your awareness that there is nothing special about you
except you
that it is not your body that captured me
it is not your mind
it is not anything about you

it is your soul which reached out to me across time
over the years of our suffering
through the  walls of our bodies
your soul reached out and touched mine
and we bled into each other so completely that now neither one of us exists without the other

and this is the flaw of language - that Love is the only word great enough to describe that but 
all of its children are given the same name

And now i tear down your security because its not what you actually want
you don't want the love that you were taught
you don't want the love that you see between other people
you want the love that exists in dreams
that exists in stories so fantastic as to defy belief

but to accept that, you have to let go of the love that you think you know

accept that i do not love you in any way that you've ever seen people love each other
because the way that i love you has only ever been seen by people that love this same way
and that love is only understood by the people inside it and it can't be put into words
so you've never seen this before
you've dreamed about it
but not seen it

you must let go of everything that makes you confident
because no amount of beauty or sensuality could create in me the experience that you do on your worst day

this is the fear - that you are not good enough
the paradox is that you make me feel something so powerful that nothing could be good enough to create that feeling.
It's terrifying because that means it has nothing to do with what either of us wants to think of ourselves
that we are together because our souls have made it so.

And from that union, everything else is made incredible.