Asked Him If He Was Strictly Gay
I can’t remember the specific day, but it was somewhere in the months of the summer of 2016, like right after spring. I finally like came to a good self loving place where I stopped giving a damn about going back-and-forth with my manipulative ex who I was going back-and-forth with almost 3 years. It was one I just started breaking down in my bedroom of my parents place. I was in my bed putting all the characteristics of my ideal human together which concluded to describe my best friend, who to at my knowledge was gay at the time after recently coming out maybe two years prior and only one or two years after the second time he told me he had feeling for me. I felt worst because I was all for the guy he was dating, I wanted to disntace myself because I thought it would be bad to be around after coming to that realization. I’m not a dater, I don’t think. The relationships I get in just happen to last because I pick guys based on good safe measures that last for long moments. The list of characteristics were of both wants and needs in addition to who I am and am I the person that I want to be so I’m ready when that person comes around. It didn’t work out that way. He told me twice in the ten years of us being friends that he had feeling for me. Once, the following summer after graduating high school (his best friend and I broke up a few months before) and then maybe three years later also over summer. I always called him out on his summer pattern of loving me. All I could think to myself sitting on my bed in the that moment was I fucked up and its too late. I had to accept it and gave myself a couple days to be sad over it. He’s still my friend, I can’t cut off a friendship because I can’t have him. He didn’t do that, both times. He’s very patient and respectful with me. Maybe 3 months passed and I noticed I wasn’t seeing any posts or mentions of his then boyfriend. Something had to be up. So I reached out to see if everything was good with him and like we normally do, I headed to his place where we waited for our third mutual close friend to show up. She ended up having to cancel at the last minute so we headed out in our lyft to our local brewery. Time and conversation continue at the brewery, he tells me about the assumed break up that I figured and somehow the conversation led to his tinder escapades and the fact that he was currently having benefit relationship with one girl, and then with a girl he was currently talking to. It threw me so off. Thats when I realized I never really asked him he was strictly gay. I just met his boyfriend, and liked the guy so I ddint feel I needed to ask. Besides it would of come out like it did, right there at the brewery across me when I thought I had no chances. I said nothing and let the conversation continue. We got back to his apartment and started to watch a movie in his room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, I was sitting on the sofa really trying to not sit next to him. I wasn’t looking at the movie, I was actively talking up the confidence in my head to make a move on my best friend of ten years. I finally worked up enough confidence to get up and grab his face and kissed him. The night didn’t end with sex, he was too nervous. It ended up with staying the night and talking, him leaving for work and us continuing to talking throughout the day about what happened and what’s next. Next was meeting the Saturday of that week at his place. His little brother downstairs with a friend and us going upstairs to his room to talk about how what had happened made us feel, with him transferring to a 4 years he was expecting or trying for a relations and I was the same with my career after just graduating. It came to us taking a chance and doing it anyways. Fast forward into our 3rd month of dating. His roommate moves out spontaneously and the roommate he finds to fill in their spot flakes because theyre home sick. I was his best option a roommate. That first three months of our relationship we’re hard. Two people, one on his side and one on my side passed away, my mom not being excepting of me dating him because of his bisexuality to the point of pushing me move out of my parents home, I am going through financial struggles because someone stole my identity, and he is just starting his first semester of a 4 year. We got through and it wasn’t at all as rough as it could’ve been and now we’re here 10 years of friendship, 2 years of romance, but all lovin’. It’s the simple measure of if they’re worth it, then it’s worth it. He was worth risking my moms opions. Look now, she’s asking for the wedding date and my family loves him like you wouldn’t believe. He’s brought us both joy and I love him just as much as I did the moment I realized what love was and that I have it with him effortlessly. He has been my favorite friend and always will be my best ally.