Feeling Lonely With You
What could be, Now that I'm free
And you've confirmed who you really are.I would say 'now that you've shown me'But I always saw it,Felt it,Cried silently over it.I just ignored it.I didn't want it to be true.I thought if I was the best version of myself, you would make the same effort,But partnership doesn't work that way - The harder I worked on us, the less you had to hold yourself accountable.
There is nothing worse than feeling lonely in a relationship you're not sure you can leave.
Then one day, I didn't want to do it anymore. I couldn't pretend anymore.
I left you and your grin and your chest and your laugh and our memoriesIn exchange for reciprocity and compassion and true love and faith in myself.I decided feeling lonely on my own was more bearable than feeling lonely with you.
You didn't even care enough to argue - That's when I felt I was doing the right thing.Later I found out you were never as lonely as I had been, for you kept company around... That's when I knew I did the right thing.
There is nothing better than knowing I left for me, instead of leaving because of you.
I said to the Universe, I will let go of himIn hopes that I'm meant for something more,And if it never comesAt least I can say I was true to myself.My strength and intuition overpowered fear, and for that, I am confident.
The Universe responded in the most miraculous wayAnd gave me him. Beautiful, devoted, wondrous him.(Had I known, I would've found courage a lot sooner.)
Yet from time to time,I find myself contemplatingWhat could've been.